


The Gentleman Stud with the Deep Brown Eyes

by Nicecuppatea



Series: The Blonde Godling And Other Stories [2]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: A light hearted pick-you-up story like a Rich Tea biscuit with a cup of Ceylon tea., M/M, With another special guest appearance by Maureen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6884992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicecuppatea/pseuds/Nicecuppatea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set immediately after their first meeting in The Blonde Godling with the Sparkling Green Eyes.  </p>
<p>Harry cleared his throat. "Renaissance Art was heavily influenced by the Greeks who thought the small uncircumcised penis was a sign of nobility whereas large ones were considered vulgar. And the standard for beauty in the classical era in Greece was the prepubescent boy so the smaller your penis was the closer you were to the ideal." He paused and trying not to sound too lascivious added, "Thankfully we no longer hold those views".</p>
<p>Eggsy's eyebrows shot up, "Is that a promise, 'Arry?" He winked. "I'm looking forward to finding out."</p>
<p>Merlin groaned and muttered, "Yer dirty pair - yer deserve each other. And tell that boy he'll need glasses to see yer old man's penis."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Harry takes Eggsy out but this time it isn't to The Black Prince but to Il Principe Nero.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Twenty three Michelangelo's Davids

**Author's Note:**

> Make yourself a pot of loose leaf Ceylon, grab a Rich Tea biscuit and put your feet up for five minutes.

Harry swept open the door of the pharmacy and stood aside, gesturing for Eggsy to walk through as though they were the doors to Buckingham Palace and Eggsy was the Prince of Wales. 

Eggsy hesitated and looked up at Harry. Deep brown eyes looked steadily at him with a mouth that was crinkling into a smile and, oh God, was that a dimple? Not only was he the sexiest man alive but also the epitome of the British Gentleman. A Gentleman Stud who wanted to go for lunch with Eggsy! Blimey, he would have been less surprised if the stud had asked Maureen out. Well, Eggsy conceded, perhaps not Maureen. She was kind, thoughtful and endearingly motherly to Eggsy but he suspected Harry wasn't looking to be mothered.

"I know a quiet Italian just around the corner," Harry said and Eggsy instantly fell in love with his voice. How could anyone make the word 'corner' sound sexy? "Would that be agreeable to you?"

Eggsy put away his musings about Maureen and, really, why was he thinking about Maureen at this moment? 

"That w-w-would be..." Oh Lord, when he did develop a stammer? He pushed on, "perfect."

Harry bowed his head and pointed the way, manfully ignoring Merlin's incensed whisper in his ear, "I kenna believe that cheeky upstart said ah were old". Harry smiled in amusement and heard Merlin's exasperated voice, "Stop yer smiling and tell him right now that yer older than I am". Harry shook his head slightly and was rewarded with a growl.

He took hold of Eggsy's elbow and steered him down a narrow cobbled street. Eggsy's nervousness slipped away as they talked and laughed about the Viagara. In the curve of Harry's glasses he saw Eggsy checking him out, and preened like the peacock he was. He was pleasantly surprised when the nosy old Scot remained silent. He turned to repay the compliment but Eggsy's sparkling green eyes were too riveting to look anywhere else. 

It was, thought Harry, remarkable how you could meet someone and just know, as soon as you saw them, that there was a connection. He remembered how Merlin had dismissed the idea of love at first sight when a well known actor had said it, and even went so far as to look up an early newspaper article where the actor had added 'or lust at first sight'. "Och, the wee laddie cannot afford to be that honest nowadays."

The restaurant was a dingy looking place with faded gold lettering that said Il Principe Nero and an Italian flag drooping disconsolately from a rusty flag pole. Eggsy looked at Harry with a grin, "Looks like Merlin ain't the only one in need of Viagara". A guttural "Affenarsch," vibrated Harry's glasses but his roar of laughter drowned out the rest of Merlin's German invective. 

He most certainly has not got a monkey's arse, Harry thought, whilst opening the door and gently placing his hand on the small of Eggsy's back to guide him through. He leaned in close until his breath was tickling Eggsy's ear. "You'll like the ambience and the food, and you'll love Mrs Bertolli - she's very like Maureen."

Eggsy would have been happy with the Big Mac and fries that Maureen bought him every Friday as his mind and body were totally preoccupied with Harry's large hand that continued to move south to gently rest on the generous curve of Eggsy's arse. He might not have known what ambience meant but it sounded as sexy as hell when Harry's lips were so tantalisingly close to his mouth. He shivered a little and wished he didn't have to go back to work after lunch but he couldn't leave Maureen on her own.

His musings about Maureen - and he really must stop thinking about her - were driven away by the tiny Aladdin's cave that they walked into. It was jammed full of Italian artefacts with a whole shelf of tacky souvenirs of the Coliseum. Harry whispered into his ear that the regular patrons, himself included, brought back mementos from Italy for Mrs Bertolli. 

Eggsy felt Harry's hand sliding a little lower and giving his arse a gentle squeeze. He had known that Harry was a man of action as soon as Harry had asked him to lunch only one minute after they'd met; in fact that was part of his attraction, and this example of his forwardness was very sexy. 

Eggsy smiled to himself then stopped in shock. 

The tiny table for two was tucked into a corner rammed to the roof with statues of naked men. Eggsy's mouth dropped open and he looked round at Harry in amazement.

"Subtle, Harry, subtle," came a sarcastic voice. "Even your blonde godling who is so stupid that he thinks I'm old, must have worked out by now that your intentions are a little less than pure."

Harry pulled out Eggsy's chair and calmly motioned for him to be seated whilst he began a brief introduction to Renaissance Art. "These are some of the most famous sculptures in world. This one, for example, is Michelangelo's David." Eggsy looked round and carefully counted them. Twenty-three Davids of differing sizes surrounded them. This was weirding him out so he focussed on Harry and his history lesson.

Whilst he talked, Merlin kept up a constant commentary. "Yer a dirty old man, Harry Hart. Ah thought you were taking the boy for lunch but it looks like yer skippin' straight to the first date in a cosy dark restaurant surrounded by penises. Classy, Harry, very classy." He chuckled irritatingly, "Ah suppose yer not wanting to bother with the kissing either, are you? No, straight home for an afternoon fook".

Harry surreptitiously tapped his glasses to turn Merlin off but the Haggis-loving Jock had overrode the system and Harry swore inwardly that he had left his ordinary prescription glasses at home.

Eggsy frowned as he listened intently to Harry, his eyebrows pulled together and his green eyes sparkled in apparent fascination. Harry was bewitched, bothered and bewildered, and promptly lost his train of thought and ground to a premature halt. 

Eggsy looked as though he was unconvinced by the lengthy explanation but he nodded politely and asked seriously, "Why are all their cocks so small?"

Merlin burst into hysterical laughter. "Tell him he ken see a full sized one later this afternoon."

Harry nodded gravely and kept his face straight. He knew that if Merlin had been there, he would struggled not to have joined in with his laughter but Eggsy was sitting before him wide eyed with innocence, and wanting an honest answer. It was, he thought, an intelligent question from someone who had not studied art history.

Harry cleared his throat. "Renaissance Art was heavily influenced by the Greeks who thought the small uncircumcised penis was a sign of nobility whereas large ones were considered vulgar. And the standard for beauty in the classical era in Greece was the prepubescent boy so the smaller your penis was the closer you were to the ideal." He paused and trying not to sound too lascivious added, "Thankfully we no longer hold those views".

Eggsy's eyebrows shot up, "Is that a promise, 'Arry?" He winked. "I'm looking forward to finding out."

Merlin groaned and muttered, "Yer dirty pair - yer deserve each other. And tell that boy he'll need glasses to see yer old man's penis."

Harry smiled broadly, saying, "Don't worry Eggsy, I'm not the one who needs Viagara".


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maureen wants in on the action...
> 
> Maureen's voice was smug, "Merlin and I have had a long chat about desire and bodily responses".

Merlin growled into his ear, "There is nothing wrong with using Viagara. I know that it..." a woman's voice interrupted him, "Of course there isn't Merlin. You shouldn't be questioning yourself like that". She sounded like she had heard Merlin's last comment and had assumed that he was trying to convince himself. Harry smiled at the thought of Maureen reprimanding Merlin. The glasses abruptly turned off. It didn't matter, he would get the full story from Eggsy next time they met and would taunt Merlin with it at his leisure.

Lunch was delicious and they leaned into each other as they talked, the perfect picture of a courting couple until Mrs Bertolli bustled towards their table. She had obviously been watching them and waiting to interrupt. She fawned over Harry whilst sizing up Eggsy as though he had just asked her for Harry's hand in marriage. Harry hadn't mentioned his parents but Eggsy doubted that they could be more protective of him than Mrs Bertolli. He thought wryly of Maureen and how she would fuss over him when he got back to the pharmacy. 

Mrs Bertolli finally left after she had questioned Eggsy and decided that he was good enough for her Harry. They relaxed and allowed one thing to lead to another, as it usually does on these occasions, and soon they were agreeing not to have pudding. Harry took a deep breath and, in an apprehensive voice, invited Eggsy back to his place for the afternoon. 

A sudden cackle stung his ear and Merlin's voice re-appeared as if by dark magic, "What the fook are you so nervous about, Harry? Yer soond like a spotty teenager". He could hear Merlin silently shaking his head in exasperation and, possibly, a little jealously that Harry was going to have an afternoon of wanton pleasure.

The laughter in his ear slowed, "Yer really like him, don't yer Harry?". Harry surreptitiously nodded and the glasses turned themselves off again. 

Eggsy normally acted on instinct but, for some reason he couldn't explain, he paused for thought. They had had a really good time, talking nonsense about Greek and Italian sculpture then discussing families and things that were important to them. Harry was a gentleman but that wasn't what he was interested in right now. Ever since Harry had started talking about "penises" as he primly called them Eggsy had been imagining what Harry would be like in bed. Would he restrain his emotions and be kind and attentive or lose control and ravish him? Then Maureen's kindly face replaced his fantasy of Harry bending him over a table and he knew it wouldn't be fair to leave her to cope alone with the evening rush. He knew Harry would be disappointed so he tried to be calm and gentle when he said no.

He looked into Harry's deep brown eyes and watched as he looked away, his face not showing any emotion but his body tightening slightly as he brought himself under control.

Harry turned back and nodded, trying to smile but the smile didn't quite emerge and he looked forlorn although he said quietly, "I understand".

Eggsy made a sudden decision and stood up. "Stay there," he told Harry and rushed to the corridor near the gents to call Maureen. 

"Maureen," he began.

"Eggsy, I know what you're going to say and the answer is yes. You go off and enjoy yourself. Merlin said he'd help me and as long as you're back for the five o'clock rush we'll be fine together." Eggsy frowned as he continued to watch Harry who appeared to be muttering to himself. He felt miffed - it sounded like he'd been usurped already. He shrugged his shoulders at his silliness whilst Maureen continued, "Merlin has been telling me all about Harry and he sounds a real gentleman and," the line went quiet as she was clearly moving somewhere more private, "he says he's very well endowed".

Eggsy nearly choked on his own breath. "Maureen, why were you even discussing that?"

Maureen's voice was smug, "Merlin and I have had a long chat about desire and bodily responses". Eggsy held the phone away from his ear and stared at it unbelievingly. This was Maureen, middle-aged Maureen talking about sex. What was wrong with her? She was definitely on the wrong side of fifty. He looked across the room at Harry. Oh.

She was talking about penises when he put the phone back to his ear. First Harry then Maureen talking about penises was too much; they were cocks not penises! Eggsy closed his eyes as a horrifying thought occurred to him - perhaps it was an age thing. But no. No! Just no. There was no way that Harry was the same age as Maureen. No way. He couldn't be. He was younger. Much. Younger.

When he started to listen again she was whispering, "So I think he's taking the Viagara because she makes comments about him and it's making his penis wilt, poor man". Eggsy tried to interrupt but Maureen was in full flow telling him how she thought Merlin would be better off with a woman of her age. He kept silent for several more minutes occasionally putting his thumbs up to Harry when he nervously glanced across.

"Maureen," he said desperately trying to curtail her monologue. 

"What these older men don't realise is that many women's sex drive gets stronger as they get older but we have the experience to make the men feel good about themselves." Maureen's voice got even quieter, "He's a handsome man and he certainly wouldn't need Viagara if he was with me". Eggsy opened his mouth to stop the torture but his voice didn't seem to work. Maureen continued, "I don't want to boast but..." Eggsy gave a squeal. "Eggsy, are you ok?" She asked in her concerned voice.

Eggsy managed to reassure her that he was fine then said goodbye before collapsing against the wall absolutely exhausted. He looked across to Harry who was now shaking his head although no-one else was around. He rubbed his hand over his face. Perhaps Harry actually was the same age as Maureen and early senility had started. He fell back against the wall and closed his eyes.

Meanwhile Harry had been drawing on his non-existent experience with middle-aged women to advise Merlin on what he ought to do.

"Well, do you like her?" He asked Merlin, thinking what a stupid question it was.

Merlin didn't appear to notice as his reply was immediate and definite, "Aye, she's a grand lassie with a wonderful sense of humour".

To say Harry was surprised was an understatement. He had written off Maureen as an ugly warty witch when he first saw her. He groaned when he remembered that he had actually said that to Merlin. Of course, it had been an unfair contest when she was stood next to his blonde godling. "His," he thought and smiled.

"His?" Merlin asked in a confused voice. "His what?"

Oh fucking shit balls he was actually saying his thoughts out loud now. He looked across to Eggsy who was looking puzzled at him but then his sparking green eyes lit up and he put his thumbs up. Harry smiled back and tried to concentrate on what Merlin was saying. 

"She's built to last if yer know what I mean," Merlin was saying, causing Harry to shudder at the thought of Maureen's stamina in bed, "and now she knows of my problem, she's very solicitous. We discussed a few alternatives".

Harry rolled his eyes and glanced back to Eggsy, wishing him to return as soon as possible.

"She's a very knowledgeable young woman," Merlin said, now warming to his subject. "Did you know that the nerve pathways of the prostate are linked to the penis?"

Harry looked blankly at the nearest statue of David. He had never had any problem with erectile dysfunction. Rather the opposite as it had taken years for him to gain control over untimely erections which his Kingsman suit appeared to magnify. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat before remembering to reply to Merlin. "No, I didn't know that, Merlin. It's a fascinating subject," he said blandly removing all inflexion from his voice and hoping that Merlin would pick up on the obvious fact that he did not want this conversation. 

Merlin carried on talking with uncharacteristic gusto. "Maureen says that regular prostate massage would work wonders for me." 

"Harry, are you still there?"

Harry's brain had momentarily retreated to save his sanity and he pulled back in time to say inanely, "That's nice".

Merlin sounded pleased, "It'd be a blessed relief not to have to perform all the time".

Harry saw Eggsy slump against the wall just as Merlin hurriedly said goodbye.

Eggsy was drawn out of his stupor by the smell of Harry's musky cologne and a strong hand stroking his arm. "Are you ok, Eggsy?"

Eggsy looked up, still recovering his senses. He smiled with exhausted relief and asked hopefully, "I think we were just going back to your house, weren't we?"

Harry's smile lit up the restaurant, "Yes, we certainly are".

As they walked out of the restaurant and stood under the limp flag, Eggsy lifted his phone to his ear and winked at Harry. "Hiya Maureen, I'm goin' off for a few hours with me Gentleman Stud now. Tell Merlin that next time we'll make it a foursome."

**Author's Note:**

> The Italian restaurant is called Il Principe Nero or, in English, The Black Prince.  
> Affenarsch is a German swear word which translates as Monkeys Arse.
> 
> I am including a German swear word in all my fics at the moment. If you want to know why then come say hello on Tumblr  
> [ANiceCuppaTea](https://anicecuppatea.tumblr.com/)


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